I know I am guilty of usually only writing about the negative. I think its likely two reasons. One, who needs to vent when things are good? And two, I am afraid of jinxing it and/or looking like an idiot when things take the inevitable turn for the worse. But, I wanted to give a mini update and comment that for most mothers, it really is the thought that counts.
Last Mother’s Day, I was pretty let down. Not because I wasn’t showered with gifts or affection, but because I seemed to be a careless afterthought, and no real show of appreciation for my motherly efforts were made. This year was perfection. I slept in, awoke to coffee and clean house, had a nice lunch and afternoon with the in-law family, and didn’t have to lift a finger all day. Didn’t have to coordinate showers and bedtimes, didn’t have to straighten up the house after everyone was asleep. Oh and there were homemade cards that had clearly been lovingly done the day before – as opposed to hastily slapped together while I was in the shower the day of. Really, that’s all I could ask for, a day off from having to be the coordinator of the family.
Along the update lines, I will say that I am still cautiously, optimistically, pleased. Hubs still seems to be on course for working out his shit. The vibe between us is really, really good. The communication is there. The mutual appreciation is there. The desire to make our family work is there. I am trying not to put too much pressure on the situation, and also trying to not be too pessimistic at the same time. It’s such a fine line in believing in him, encouraging our union and then starting to worry that the bottom will fall out or that the shit is hitting the fan behind my back while I am being his cheerleader.
In the meantime, I am, once again, temping for my old employer. I know, I know. I can’t stay broken up with anybody, can I? But, it’s good money, it’s comfortable and it’s better than being home all day every day. It will be nice to get a little tiny financial cushion before I vaca a bit with the kids. I still plan on spending some time with them out of town this summer. Not because I am running away from things, but because I want to spend time with my grandmother, and my cousins. We’ll only be about 6 hours away and I plan to split the summer vacation time fairly evenly between there and here. I also still need the perspective that only a little alone time can bring me.
Two weeks to go, then the kids are out of school, my temp gig is up and I can be free from the world for a while. Aren’t I the lucky one?